I figured I talk alot why not write a lot also.
The Half Brother Chronicles
Published on April 19, 2006 By DJBandit In Blogging
The true meaning of being a half brother The Half Brother Chronicles It saddens me to have the words "half brother" as part of my life today. Since I could be aware of anything I have always believed I had 2 bothers and 2 sisters. A brother and sister from my Mom's side and a brother and sister from my dad's side. Never did I before consider any of them my half brothers, I couldn't even figure out the meaning of the 2 words put together. After all, a half brother is still a brother no matter how you slice it (pun intended). But after all these years it seems that I am being forced to define my relationship with all my brothers and sisters with these 2 words. When I was young my father was on a mission. After separating from his ex-wife, she made it her business to tell his 2 kids that their dad abandoned them. I don't really know if that was true or not, regardless he chose them over me. I can understand the position he found himself when his kids were turned on him, however, I don't find any justification for giving very little attention to me during this time. At the moment that he chose to get my mom pregnant and having me I became priority for being the one in the same house as him. Thru out all my life I never had any anger, hatred, discuss or dislike for any of my brothers and sisters. I was sad that I did not know my brother and sister from Chicago since they did not live close by and my dad did not have a lot of communication with them. I never realized, being too young to know better, that they did not care for me. After all I would think they would have made an effort to get to know me, to see me more and to let me know that I had a brother and sister in Chicago. It was because of my dad that I knew of them. To make matters worse, just when my brother was starting to come around and have a closer relationship with my dad and me, he dies in a motorcycle accident. I've always believed that I had a guardian angel and that it is him. Till this date, since my brother died, I have not heard of my sister from Chicago. I don't know what she does, don't know how many kids she has, and don’t even know if she's well or not. To be honest I don't really care, after so many years I have learned to ignore the idea of a sister in Chicago. So not only did I lose a brother to the reaper, I lost a sister to blind hatred provided by the stupidity of both my dad and her mom. To about the age of 12 or 13, I lived with my brother and sister in the house. Not once did I give it a thought that they were from a different father till he came in to our lives and between him and my dad, basically destroyed the life that we all once had even if it was not perfect. Still, they were my brothers and sister, being related only by my mother did not change a thing to me. But it seems that thru out the years it did change them. At the age of 16 I moved to Miami with my brother looking to get away from the 8 years of horror I lived in Puerto Rico. My first decision to take control of my own life and man was it the worst mistake I ever done. Talk about making mistakes and learning from them. Living with my brother and his wife was a nightmare. Not only did she dislike me, but also she turned my brother on me. I'm sure you are probably thinking that at the age of 16 and under someone else's roof and without my parents around that I was probably an uncontrollable teenager. Believe me when I tell you, I never did anything for my brother or his wife to have done what they did to me to the point of literally kicking me out of the house a year later and sending me to live with my Mom who had already left my dad and moved to New Jersey. After a few years with my mom we decided to move back to Miami. OK, this was my second biggest mistake ever. I eventually moved on my own and my mom moved back to Puerto Rico. Since then my relationship with my brother (or what was left of it) began to deteriorate little by little. As times got bad, my brother thru me a bone and got me a job where he worked. Even though working with a family member was not a good idea (good only knows how true that is), my brother did not work in the same area as I did and so we did not interact much. Within a few months that all changed. The whole company had a shake down, the owner found out about some stealing going on and the management got a face-lift. The manager was fired together with her husband and one of the office girls and my brother was made president of the company. Needless to say that made me working there a center for problems. Ironically I never actually saw anything that would suggest that me being the presidents brother bothered people, except one person, my manager. I was moved from the warehouse to the office cause they needed more hands to do paper work and I was the only person in the warehouse area with the abilities. That was the worst thing that could have happened to me so far. I was getting good pay; great benefits and my PC had no Internet or Admin restrictions what so ever. I even managed to convince my brother and the guys who maintained the computers and server to install a CD-RW on my PC to store the paperwork I kept on the hard drive for reference and proof. I admit of abusing the internet and the CD-RW for personal gain, but my PC never got one virus (and I had Windows ME) and I always kept my PC in tip top shape cause the PC guy trusted me. After moving upstairs and settling in I began to work and as I learned the ropes, as usual, I began to develop a system that would make my work faster and more efficient with less errors. Thru this time I didn't realize at first that my boss was threatened by me, not only because of my brother, but because I was better regardless of whom the president was. Honestly, I was not looking to take her job. Only after I figured out her behavior, and realized that her skills (which she had none but there were only 2 girls in the office area and someone had to be the manager) were the cause of many of the problem we were having, I wanted to take over. But it was too late. Even though my brother "claimed" he was considering replacing her with me, she had already began the process that would make my life a living hell by complaining to my brother about my work and to the owner behind my brother’s back. To make matters worse my brother did not want to give anyone the idea that he was giving me special treatment so he began to c0me down hard on me. Eventually a ten-dollar loan was the breaking point between him and me. At work and outside my brother treated me like an employee. I borrowed 10 dollars from him on a Tuesday and he being the one who signs my check, asked me for the 10 dollars on Thursday when payday was on Fridays. He yelled at me in front of everyone in the warehouse and that afternoon when I went home all I could think about was that moment when he yelled at me for 10 dollars, a guy that makes over 1 thousand a week and is my brother. The next day I was full of anger but was hiding it, till the warehouse manager said something to me and I reacted in anger. I then left the office and wondered on foot to where ever my feet took me. I eventually contacted my wife and asked her to come and get me cause I felt bad for what I had done and wanted to apologize to the warehouse manager. That's when my wife told me that my brother had called her and that if I did not return to work that I would be fired. That was the last draw. I went to the office and gave him a piece of my mind short of insulting his mother for she was also my mom. This was the end of my life in Miami, my wife had just given birth to my second son and my brother had fired me over 10 dollars and then felt he could not give me my job back because of the principle of me disrespecting him. I had no choice but to move to Puerto Rico. Well I probably did have a choice, but apart from my childish mentality back then and the need to get as far away from my brother as possible at the moment, Puerto Rico was my best chance at starting over again. Enter the current and final chapter of my hell known as The Half Brother Chronicles. Just when I think things can't get any worse and hoping that Puerto Rico is my chance to start a new, I find myself repeating history with my sister. Things did not go as planned when I moved here. Puerto Rico was not in a good economical state and work was scares (stupid me for not checking this first). Again I found myself working for a family member when my sister’s boss offers me a job. Hell, things weren't too good and this job, being part time, paid more than most jobs in town. Even at part time I was making decent money, but things between my sister and me we already bad. It has been bad and only getting worse. We fight more than we talk so I try to talk as little as possible. I decided it’s time to move back to the States since things are far worse here than over there. I don’t believe she likes the idea of me leaving, after all she will need another person to take my place and I doubt she will find someone like me fast enough. I’m a hard worker and I like to do things right and better. Not a lot of people are like that, especially here in Puerto Rico where people like easy money or in other words less work more pay. I wish her luck finding someone; there is nothing she or my mom can do to change my mind. Maybe if she would have treated me better, not like a brother, but more like the only other person she could relate to and depend on (since it was only us 2 in this company in all of Puerto Rico) as co-workers. We backed each other up. Instead I was just another employee under the rule of her management and didn’t appreciate my work. Her loss. I will be on my way back to Florida in a few months, and will do my best to keep a good relationship with my sister. I will however never forget how they both treated me and someday they need to be told. But that will be another time. I have a lot of work to do to better myself and until then I will keep to myself. I will stay away from them staying in contact with them from time to time. If they want to know about me they will have to make the effort themselves, I am tired of doing all the work of keeping this family as close together as possible, I think it’s their turn now.
Comments
on Apr 19, 2006
Charles! Please put some spaces between your paragraphs next time! OK?


Only because it makes for better reading and easy on the eyes, and especially since I'm fighting a bad headache right now. [of course I need to stop reading for a while]!


I'm sorry about your brother's death. I'm also sorry you're having such a hard time with the rest of your siblings. Half or not you're still family as you so aptly stated. Well, the good thing is that you realise your mistakes and you're trying to make your life better. Owning up to them and making a change for the better is good. It's not easy but in the end it will be OK as you said.

I have a half brother too. He lives in the UK. I met him for the first time when my dad died 5 years ago. He got along well with all of us and we just call him brother, no half or anything. I haven't heard from him for a while though and we're trying to find him to make sure he's ok.

Good luck with your upcoming move and I hope it all goes well.
on Apr 19, 2006
Charles! Please put some spaces between your paragraphs next time! OK? Only because it makes for better reading and easy on the eyes, and especially since I'm fighting a bad headache right now. [of course I need to stop reading for a while]!


Sorry, did such a quick cut and paste that I negated to check how it posted. Will makes sure to check that next time I post.

I'm sorry about your brother's death. I'm also sorry you're having such a hard time with the rest of your siblings. Half or not you're still family as you so aptly stated. Well, the good thing is that you realise your mistakes and you're trying to make your life better. Owning up to them and making a change for the better is good. It's not easy but in the end it will be OK as you said.


I never really got to meet him well, but I do believe he is my gardian angel. The word half has never really been used in my family, but sometimes you need not to say everything to make others understand your intentions. I'm sure they would deny it all and probably be mad at me for even thinking about it, but that's how people like them deal with things, in denial (no not the river). But believe me I will not let this destroy my life. I have learned to live alone, away from my family and it will not kill me to be a bit of a distance from them.

I have a half brother too. He lives in the UK. I met him for the first time when my dad died 5 years ago. He got along well with all of us and we just call him brother, no half or anything. I haven't heard from him for a while though and we're trying to find him to make sure he's ok.


Hope you here from him soon, I really miss mine sometimes. I'm sad that I don't have any communication with my sister in Chicago, but I can not put myself in a situation where I can get hurt if I try to look for her and she rejects me. If she cares at all for her living brother, then let her do the searching, she already needs to do some soul searching, might as well add brother searching to it.

Good luck with your upcoming move and I hope it all goes well.


Thank you, I appreciate it a lot. Sometimes I find myself alone with no one to understand me and that sux at times.
on Apr 19, 2006

Half does not need to be a part of your narrative, or your vocabulary.  I never considered any of my siblings half, although technically 4 of them are.  Yet I am closer to those 4 than my 2 full siblings.  That is just family dynamics.

IN time, I think you can patch things up with your siblings.  I hope so.  I have moved more than you (less than Titan, but that is another story), and through it all, the one constant has been family.  friends come and go, family is forever.

Best of luck in your new endeavor.

on Apr 19, 2006
we can choose our friends but not our family, sometimes friends become family and family becomes strangers, it's all the vagaries of life. Do what YOU can to retain family, but know when to let go.

good luck with that btw.


MM
on Apr 20, 2006
Thanx for the replies. I've always said no matter how bad things get, my family is my family. I would never hate them, but I would stay away from them if necesary and make them do some work to try to patch things up. I have always been the one to say I'm sorry in roder to keep communication with family members even when I was not wrong. All that has done is earn me the title of the black sheep of the family and I find that unfair.

I've never really had a close relationship with any of my brothers and sisters, at least not like they have had between each other, and that makes me feel really left out. But I will not bring myself down, as the songs says "I will survive".