Just yesterday my wife was wondering what movie my sisters son went to see. While mentioning that I wondered why my son, almost the same age, did not go with him to the movies. We live in the same town, they like playing together and they get along pretty good, so why didn't he invite him to the movies? I know he went with a friend from school, it was the boys birthday and they celebrated by taking him to the movies and inviting my nephew. That's when it hit me, history seems to be repeating itself.
You see, when I was 8 years old my mom moved to Puerto Rico from New Jersey. Why would she do such a thing is beyond me, but he excuse of wanting to move away from my dad does not justify what I consider a mistake to have moved here. My dad eventually came to Puerto Rico, after all he bought the house we moved in to. Well things didn't go so great for me. For starters, even though my parents were Puerto Ricans, I was born in the US and that was enough to make me an outsider. Being able to talk English and always getting straight A's in English didn't help either. I did however blow everyone away when they heard me talk Spanish better than them; for a person who never lived in Puerto Rico before and went to school in the US and watched TV in English my Spanish was amazing. Throw in being shy and very smart (not trying to show off here) and you got yourself a typical out casted situation. For the next 8 years I struggled to be part of the school system, but I couldn't even fit in the nerd, geeks, dorks or weird crowds. I could never understand why, but as time went by I got use to it and, even though it's not what I wanted, I became a loner. I ate lunch by myself most of the time, I walk to and from school alone, the only kids who would play with me were those to small to understand why not to be around me.
My love life? Hell, I had better chances of finding a buried treasure than hooking up with a girl. Ironic though, no matter how bad you are at romancing a girl, no matter how ugly you might think you are, no matter how weird you could be, no matter if you have a criminal record, missing limbs or are days or weeks away from death, there is always that one girl that likes you and wants to be your girlfriend. In my case, she just happen to be the school reject, I guess you can say the female equivalent of me. Though she did have her group of people, she was still mostly a loner like me. But I just had no interest in her, specially with my heart already stuck on a girl who wouldn't give me the time of the day in my lifetime but that didn't matter. I wasn't about to surrender to the "I have no choice" option, I had already accepted being a loner. I won't deny that while in Puerto Rico for 8 years I did have a girlfriend or 2. Even funnier it was to come back to Puerto Rico 12 years later after leaving at the age of 16 back to the states, find some old friends (the few who spoke to me and remembered me), and find out that the too girls that I dated back then were and still are considered 2 of the best looking girls in town, girls most guys wanted to date. The worst part was that they dated me thinking I was cool but once they realized my social position, outcast, they both ran faster than the roadrunner.
Now that I gave you a brief history of my life, I will get to the point of this article. The thing is I'm starting to notice my son is heading in the same direction as I did at around his age. Like me, he was born in the US and English is his first language, he's also shy and very smart. I have noticed that he doesn't have a lot of friends, hardly any, and he has a lot of problems with other kids bugging him in school, almost like me. While his cousin hangs out with friends most of the time, in their houses, at the movies or at stores, my son hardly ever gets out of the house if it's not with me or his mom. I fear that he will relive the same life I had at his age and it was a very sad time for me. I once considered the idea of not having children just so they didn't have to live what I have had to live thru and now it almost seems that one of my greatest fears is coming true. The one thing that both situations have in common is that we both have lived in Puerto Rico at about the same age and Puerto Ricans can be really cruel people (sad I speak so bad about my own people). I believe that the best solution will be to move back to the states where we belong and just visit on vacation. Beside the education level here in Puerto Rico is so low my son is learning things in second grade that he would either have known before going to school or things kids learn in kinder and first grade in the states. That may have been one reason why I have not made progress in life, but that will change before this year ends. That's a promise.